Tuesday, June 14, 2011

frustrations and amusements

So, I'm still down another pound! It wasn't down as much as I wanted it to be, but I can deal with it. If there's one thing I have learned in weight loss is that you can NEVER predict how much you will lose (umm, Biggest Loser anyone???). I have gotten over the initial body shock of the low calorie diet, so now I am getting into the heavy work outs and trying my best to burn calories, disappear the fat, and grow muscle. Hmm, maybe thats why I only lost a little...maybe I'm making some MAD muscles!!

On to another frustration...I was trying to work out this morning because the kiddos were still sleeping. I popped in one of my old favorites, Billy Blanks' bootcamp. Its an oldie, and Billy is INSANE, but its a butt kicker! I got through about 15 minutes, making my own adjustments for my particular situation, when I got a stupid idea: I thought to myself, "I can do that side kick NO problem"! Yeah, I was wrong. One kick and I was on the floor, leg hurting. This is where I get REALLY upset with myself. For those of you that haven't known me very long, I used to have crazy strong quad muscles. I could do sitting leg presses, lifting twice my weight. At the point I could do that, I weighed 180...double that. I was impressive!

For me to go from seriously strong legs to weakness beyone weakness is probably one of the most difficult things I have ever dealt with. Its FRUSTRATING to want to work out and get strong and just rip my muscles and not be able to do it the way I used to. Frankly, it pisses me off.

Luckily, Heavenly Father knows me. He knows that one of the best ways to motivate me is to tell me that I can't do something. My genius surgeon figured this out early; he would tell me that I would never walk again and that I would be handicapped forever. What did I do? I flipped him off (yes I did...I blame narcotics), got out of bed, and walked. Now, if you can't see my leg, you would never know I am hurt by my walking. The same goes with working out. I have to keep going...prove everyone wrong about my leg. I'm already leaps and bounds stronger than I was 3 years ago, so I know I can do this!

On to something a little more amusing...I have the kids enrolled in swim lessons and had to stop afterward to get some gas. I was standing at the pump when this other gas customer looked at me and said "hi there...you are looking awful pretty today...very nice"...I took a quick look at my reflection in my car window and almost laughed out loud...I'm in my swimsuit, coverup, hair in a ponytail, mascara smeared...Seriously?!?!?! This dude needs to get his eyes checked ;)

Nonetheless, its a roller-coaster day for me...hopefully I'll have more ups than downs!

1 comment:

  1. I had a similar situation happen to me when I took Jesse to the park one day... He saw a guy shooting hoops, and walked straight over to stare at him for five minutes. The guy said he was a cute kid, asked if he was mine. I said yes. The guy asked if I was still with J's father? I answered yes, without really thinking what that meant. He went on playing like nothing had happened, we kept watching, and eventually we left. As I thought about it later, I was like, Oh my gosh, he was interested... Then I looked at myself... Hair in a messy ponytail, no makeup, torn ratty jeans, and a shirt with bleach stains and probably some toddler snot on it. I told Brandon this, and he said, "I keep trying to tell you! This is when you're the most attractive, this is the REAL Darci, and I love her." >>aaawwwww...<< It made me happy. But yeah, I felt the same about the guy, get your eyes checked, buddy...